Thursday, June 11, 2015


Today i wish to share a story about a Brave heart.. A woman who challenged life when life  challenged her.

This brave heart woman is none other than my very  own mother  who passed away last year. She was born to another brave woman, my maternal Grandma. I recall my trips to my Grandma's  house  every summer in Phagwara .My Grandma was a widow but was a fiercely independent woman who lived life at her own terms.

This trait was passed  on to my mother. Before  i share with you her inspiring story about dealing with a major health issue let me share some facts about my mother.

We are four sisters and our parents raised us with care and affection. After completing her household chores Mum would  stitch exquisite clothes for her four daughters which would be the talk of the colony. Her time management skills were so good that she still found time to read novels as reading was also one of her hobbies.

When we went to live in Zambia she studied Modern Maths and  became a supervisor teacher even though she had never taught in school in India. Such was her passion for life.

She single handedly performed two major tasks of her life when my father was serving in Zambia. Buying their retirement home and conducting my marriage. And all this while she was walking with a stick due to multiple surgeries on account of osteoporosis.

She was a doting mother and an extremely doting grandmother.

She loved being a host and loved hosting lunch/dinner for family and friends..  She was extremely popular and loved in her locality. Couples from her neighborhood would come and share their life with her.

 But life had other plans. Her  last five year of life were very challenging.

She developed physical immobility and could not stand, could not walk could not go to the toilet could not dress  but could eat her own food..

Not one to give up on life, not one to crib to God about her plight, she managed her entire household including entertaining friends  and family from the bed and wheel chair. The maids very aptly instructed about the days agenda by her.

She commanded so much love in her locality that once every month her friend would gather at her home for a Kitty party.

Even though she was paraplegic she colored her hair,  wore matching accessories  and took part in every activity inside and outside  the home.

She traveled to Dehradun to attend her grandsons wedding. She traveled twice to Panipat to attend the engagement and wedding of my daughter. Shortly before her death she traveled to Ambala  to meet her ailing brother.

Such was her lust fr life despite her condition that she gave a song performance  at my daughter's Sangeet and also at the time of Bidai.

Besides the fact that she was  immobile, she had a catheter fitted in her body. In the pic below

you ca see the urine bag as she gave a solo song performance at the Sangeet.

Every time she had to be taken to the hospital she had to be shifted in a sheet with 2 or more men lifting the sheet,

I have observed at close quarters the difficulty an elder with immobility faces cos of my mother.  Hence i feel very strongly about Elder Abuse and the need to stop this act

Every time she had to be taken to the hospital, I  had to counsel the nursing staff to move her as per her comfort and wishes

As she lived in my neighborhood my mother was my best friend and we became extremely close during the last five years of her challenging life.

She not only inspired me but was a role model for her grand children too. She was a live example of how to live your life with head held high and dignity despite challenges in life.

It came as no surprise that she was often complemented for her courage

" You are a Grandma  but don't look like a Grandma'

'When you are  sitting on the wheel chair and talking happily no one can judge that you  are living  day and night with disability'

Mother you were an inspiration yesterday, you are an inspiration today and always will be. Because of your disability i feel very strongly about the need to treat our elders with love, respect and dignity and curb the abuse. I share your life story to raise this  issue.

Old age is going to happen to each one of us. Let us  cherish our parents  and take care of  them  and do good Karma.  Let us use the power of blogging to create awareness  and raise our voices about Elder Abuse.

MY post is a humble effort to  draw attention to  stop Elder  abuse.

Two days from now is your birthday and i have composed a poem for you:


My existence on earth
My mystical journey here
Is a gift from you mother

You nourished me
Right from the womb
Ushering in my karma
Of an earthly sojourn.

You gave me my identity
Taught me life’s truth
Values, hard work
Determination and courage.

I opened my heart to you
Unburdened my heavy outpourings
Shed tears in your umbrella of love
Cos you were my best friend.

Your enthusiasm for life was infectious
Your selfless heart
Magnanimous for your children and grand children.

I was truly blessed
To have your proximity
Even after the umbilical cord
Was cut by life’s agenda

I feel blessed to be your daughter
Just as my siblings feel so
You were a remarkable diamond
Polished by life’s milestones.

Today on your birthday
We remember you with misty eyes
Our hearts exploding
Oscillating between joy and remembrance.

Mother dear
We promise to do you proud
Your legacy will never loose its luster
Ensconced safely in your progeny
As we vow to live by your exemplary  courage.

We assemble together today
In body and spirit
Singing a song of love
Embracing you into our spirited hearts.
Lighting the candle of adoration
Abiding by your life’s  wisdom
Armored with your grace.

Happy Birthday Mother!

This post is an entry for  the contest :

15th June is World Elder Abuse Awareness Day

As per a research study conducted by Helpage India, 50% of the elderly face exploitation in various forms. Verbal Abuse (41%), Disrespect (33%) and Neglect (29%) are ranked the most common types of offenses against them. The number of these cases are going up at an alarming rate. Let's use the power of blogging to give a life of respect and love to the old, and voice our opinion against the sufferings of the elderly.
As pesearch stud


  1. Abha , a salute to the brave lady, your Mom, who, inspite of so many difficulties did so much for the family.Her blessings for all of you will always be there.

    1. Thank u Ushaji. Indeed she did so much for her children and grand children. We miss her so much but am grateful to Almighty for giving us such a terrific role model.

      Day after on 13th is her birthday and this post is a tribute to her :0